I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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