I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
