its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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