Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize