ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Come share oat with me in your robe
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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