Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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