i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
