just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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