Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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