moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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