Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
