If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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