you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize