i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
