I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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