Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
