Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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