wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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