Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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