he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
