Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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