I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
