I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
