so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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