We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
