He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize