Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
