Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
