another moral hangover. fuck.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
