You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
