Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize