Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
