He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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