I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
