My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
