I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm just crazy horny about you
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
