If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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