worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize