I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
