O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
