we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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