talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
