it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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