If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
