If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
