If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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