I'm going to rape someone's good day.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
