Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
