The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize