he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My vagina is officially offended.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
