As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
