Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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