If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
