all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
