I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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