Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
