I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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