So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
