Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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