There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
