Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize