I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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