Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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