My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
