dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
