good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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