Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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