i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the day after is always just damage control
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
