Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
