where am i from again
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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