if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
