Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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